Don’t feel sorry for me!!

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When my husband went to  treatment at Hazelden, my amazing friends and family reached out with messages, calls, cards, flowers, snow removal, running my kids to and fro, meals (because I don’t cook), encouragement, hugs (even in co-vid).  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated ALL of it, but at the same time, felt guilty, and felt like telling them, “Don’t feel sorry for me, no one died, right?”  But they wanted to help and show they cared.  I get it–I think I would do the same!!  When I think back to the 28 days when Justin was away at treatment, it felt like a dream.  Like is this really my life?  Sometimes, when I thought of our situation, it actually felt like someone did die.  You know the feeling of your stomach lurching to your throat? Mine would do that many times throughout the day and I would have to remind myself, no one died, don’t feel sorry for yourself.  Don’t feel sorry for me.  If we were still in that horrible secret lie of addiction, pretending everything was ok, then and only then, should you feel sorry for me, or I can feel sorry for myself.  In order for me to get through the 28 days, I had to switch my way of thinking about our situation.  Be happy, that he was brave enough to get help!  Be proud that he is putting his family first!  Be relieved that he is doing this for his health.  Be excited in the new life and beginnings that will come from this!!  But whatever you do, don’t feel sorry for me!! 

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