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For more information visit HammeredRecovery.com or e-mail me at justin@hammeredrecovery.com
SHow Notes
- I recommend reading the Big Book and 12 & 12, but also do some research online.
- Article by Jason Wahler – Breaking down the steps.
- Step 8 & 9 Podcast – The Recovery Show – Mary Pearl T.
- We take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault.
- We make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done.
- We consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.
This is about cleaning your side of the street.
Step 8 – Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
- You should be on this list.
- Is mostly about identifying the damage you have done to others and listing those names.
- Even if you currently are not willing put them on your list.
- This is not a list you keep in your head. You put every name down on paper, even if you are not sure you owe them amends.
- Reason 8 is before 9. Don’t worry about 9.
- Be incredibly honest.
- Break this list down into:
- Now
- Later
- Never
Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Difference between amends and apologies – An Amends has to do with resorting justice as much as possible. If you borrow $20 form someone you don’t apologize and not give them the money back. You give them to $20 back.
- Honestly Admit and Humbly ask for forgiveness.
- Do not procrastinate, but also do not rush this step.
- As with anything you get batter as you do them. Start with the easy ones.
- Direct Amends – taking personal responsibility for your actions and confronting the person who you would like to reconcile with.
- Indirect Amends – Finding ways to repair damage that cannot be reversed or undone by doing things like volunteering and helping others.
- Living Amends – When you show others as well as yourself that you have made a genuine lifestyle change and are making a commitment to yourself and those that you have hurt that you will & have discarded your previous destructive behaviors.
- Restoration – Brining something back to its former state, usually things that have been damaged. (Reputations – Trust)
- Resolution – Likely have past experiences that plague or disturb us – Coming up with answers and solutions to these problems and laying them to rest.
- Restitution – the Act of returning something material to its rightful owner.
Why is this important? 9th Step Promises, Big Book Pgs. 83-84